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Mess Up My Kitchen I'll Mess Up Your Pretty Face
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If You Were A Cookie You'd Be A Whoreo
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My Wife Said, "Make Me Scream With One Finger" So I Poked Her In The Eye
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Sometimes I Look At My Husband & Think…"Damn! You Are One Lucky Man!"
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I Told My Wife I Wanted To Be Cremated, She Made An Appointment For Next Week
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You Think I'm Cute When I'm Angry…Well Hang On I'm About To Be Adorable
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You Can Talk Behind My Back…Just Don't Be There When I Turn Around
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Spilling A Drink Is The Adult Equivalent Of Losing A Balloon
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Keep Your Head High & Your Middle Finger Higher
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I Don’t' Know How To Say This Nicely…So I Won't
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It's A Beautiful Day To Leave Me Alone
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Better Late Than Ugly
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I Know Your Lane Sucks, But Stay In It
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I'm Humble, But I'll Smack A Bitch
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Excuse The Mess…I'm A Shitty Housewife
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I Wish Being A Bitch Paid The Bills
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