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Keep Your Head High & Your Middle Finger Higher
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I'm Just Waiting To See If My Coffee Chooses To Use It's Powers For Good Or Evil Today
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If You Blow On Your Cup They'll Think It's Coffee Instead of Wine
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True Love Is Finding Your Same Kind Of Crazy
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If Swearing Burned Calories I've Be One Skinny Bitch
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Don't Ever Be Afraid To Shine…The Sun Doesn't Give A Fuck Who It Blinds
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I Just Wanna Daydrink & Work In My Garden
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And Yet Despite The Look On My Face You're Still Talking
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You Had Me At We'll Make It Look Like An Accident
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You Smell Like Good Wine & Bad Decisions Come Sit By Me
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Keep It Up You'll Be A Strange Smell In The Attic
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I Want The Job Where I Get To Push Scared Skydivers Out Of Planes
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Not Saying I Hate You But…I Would Unplug Your Life Support To Charge My Phone
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I Told My Wife To Embrace Her Mistakes So She Hugged Me
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My Wife Said, "Make Me Scream With One Finger" So I Poked Her In The Eye
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Sometimes I Look At My Husband & Think…"Damn! You Are One Lucky Man!"
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