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I Told My Wife To Embrace Her Mistakes So She Hugged Me
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My Wife Said, "Make Me Scream With One Finger" So I Poked Her In The Eye
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Sometimes I Look At My Husband & Think…"Damn! You Are One Lucky Man!"
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I Told My Wife I Wanted To Be Cremated, She Made An Appointment For Next Week
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You Think I'm Cute When I'm Angry…Well Hang On I'm About To Be Adorable
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A Recent Study Shows Women Who Carry A Little Extra Weight Live Longer Than The Men Who Mention It
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Honey, When You Said You Got Me A Small Gift I Thought You Were Gonna Unzip Your Pants
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I Don't Have To Be A Great Cook, I'm A Trophy Wife
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I Do Whatever The Voices In My Wife's Head Tell Me To Do
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I Can't Believe How Much I'm Not Sick Of You
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A Wife Should Cook For Her Husband…Prisoners Deserve At Least One Hot Meal A Day
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I Know Darling It Must Be Exhausting Watching Me Do Everything
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All I Know Is One Of Us Is Right & The Other One Is You
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I'm So Glad You Finally Realize How Miserable You Are Without Me
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You're The Only One I Want To Annoy For The Rest Of My Life
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Being Married Is Like Having A Best Friend That Doesn't Remember Anything You Say
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Marriage Is About Knowing What Irritates Your Spouse & Strategically Using It Forever
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Behind Every Angry Woman Is A Confused Man That Has No Idea What He Did Wrong
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If At First You Don't Succeed Do It The Way Your Wife Told You To The First Time
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We've Been Through A Lot & Most Of It Is Your Fault
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I Love You…Even Though You're Not Naked Right Now
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It Must Be Love…I Haven't Even Plotted An Eventual Escape Plan
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I Accidentally Sent My Husband The Kissy Emoji Instead Of The Angry One…(Now He Thinks I Like Him)
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Honey, Are We Drinking Tonight Or Are We Drankin'? (There's A Big Difference)
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