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Better Late Than Ugly
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I Workout To Burn Off The Crazy
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If You Were A Cookie You'd Be A Whoreo
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Patience…What You Have When There Are Too Many Witnesses
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I Don't Have A Dirty Mind I Have A Sexy Imagination
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My Mind Still Thinks I'm 25…My Body Thinks My Mind Is An Idiot.
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Fluff You You Fluffin' Fluff
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Cute But Psycho
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It's A Beautiful Day I Think I'll Skip My Meds And Stir Things Up A Bit
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Today's Mood
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I Will See Your Sass And Raise You Some Sarcasm
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Sweet As Sugar Hard As Ice Hurt Me Once I'll Kill You Twice
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Rock, Paper, Scissors Throat Punch! I Win.
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This Is My Asshole Antenna You're Coming In Loud And Clear
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It's Not A Middle Finger It's A Unicorn Fist
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Remember If We Get Caught You Are Deaf And I Don't Speak English
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I Know I Said Hi But I'm Not Prepared For A Follow-Up Conversation
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I'm Only Responsible For What I Say Not For What You Understand
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Don’t Rush Me I Get Paid By The Hour
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She's Beauty She's Grace She'll Kick You In The Face
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The Biggest Lie I Tell Myself Is "I Don't Need To Write That Down I'll Remember It."
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I Told My Wife To Embrace Her Mistakes So She Hugged Me
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My Wife Said, "Make Me Scream With One Finger" So I Poked Her In The Eye
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Sometimes I Look At My Husband & Think…"Damn! You Are One Lucky Man!"
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